Where I started (sort of)
CPTSD is a monster. And as such it has taken care of either warping or swallowing whole the few childhood memories I had. So I cherish what's left like these precious gems and, for better or worse, nostalgia informs a lot of my choices. When I was a child I discovered my family's photo albums, and discovered my dad's love of photography. I have no idea what camera he had before, but I knew many of the most recent photos were taken on his Agfamatic. That was the first camera I ever played around with.
This was probably the model my dad owned
I didn't care to know that this camera used a special film format. Turns out the shutter button was broken, so it never had a roll of film in it. Yet I loved doing the motions: looking through the viewfinder, composing, pretend pressing the button, then closing and opening the camera to advance. It was such a tactile experience. It wasn't until the early 90s that I would familiarize myself with 135 and start to understand there were different formats of film.
Me, in my first months of life, captured on 110 film by my dad
I forgot about 110 until...
I started working in a photo lab. And when my 1st order of 110 scans showed up, and I learned it was a nightmare to scan (because it's so tiny), I also started remembering my dad's camera, the cartridges I never got to load up, and of course nostalgia got a hold of me. I ended up down the rabbit hole on Youtube where I found people who still appreciated the format in 2024. I heard a lot of praise for the Pentax Auto 110. And after I found out Lomography resurrected 110, well, it was only a matter of time until I took the plunge.
my very own Pentax Auto 110
Pentax Auto 110
I found it on Ebay with the original kit (3 lenses and flash) for less than $200. I ordered 1 cartridge of Lomochrome Turquoise, one of Orca BW, and one of Color Tiger. Then I put the camera and lenses in a tiny crossbody bag (doesn't even fit my phone) and made it my EDC for a month. I'm a slow film shooter, so I only got through the first roll, the Lomo Turquoise. I intentionally shot some subjects that this film is not suited for because I wanted to get artistic with it. And I think it worked. I also got lucky with some rainy, gloomy days.
So here are the favorite shots of my first roll of 110 (I did not plan the selfie to land exactly on the sprocket hole but you know what? it works):
I'm pretty proud of these photos and glad that I've come full circle on my photographic journey. Back to where I think I would have started - if that damn shutter button wasn't broken. I made peace with how long it took me to have my first point and shoot. With how when I had just started, digital cameras were around the corner and made film too expensive so I stopped shooting film. I learned that nostalgia sometimes is a good thing, and looking back helps you see a way forward.
I won't keep waiting for that special moment to break out a roll. I've come to accept that I have boring subjects, as my life circumstances are full of limitations, but maybe that is where I'll find a creative spark.
