So I'm not gonna do one
If I'm gonna be honest, introducing myself has been a big factor on why I pushed off getting back to concert photography. I have a long winding road behind me. A whole country move, identity change, friends and family lost, and many lemons live has given me are what made this lemonade. Partially I don't wanna talk about it, partially I feel like that's a book I should write. So I'll get down to the present and what I decided to do in 2024.
I was very depressed. After my 2nd divorce and finding myself alone in a foreign country, I started looking for ways to cope, and reached for my photography gear. Could I find my spark back? Could I at least distract myself from the pain until the grief becomes an old friend? On top of my doubts there was (still is) this fear of being seen and I had to fight my rational brain and just throw myself at something. I put a couple cameras in my bag and started taking them with me every day, just photographing the city, documenting my life. Stuff like these:
But as much as these street/cityscape moments are useful as a creative exercise, they're not what brings me back to life. I needed to shoot music. One day in late March I decided I had nothing to lose by ditching my old portfolio completely and starting from scratch. I had to build a new one, so I said to myself: "one foot in front of the other" and messaged an artist to see if I could shoot their show. They didn't reply -in fact didn't even see my message as Instagram filters them out into a "requests" folder and who's got time for that -but only a couple days before the event, I had the idea of messaging the venue. And they helped me out!
I dusted off my best lenses, which hadn't seen the light of day in a while, and went out to shoot Brittany Bindrim, Panic Priest and Spy the Night. During Spy The Night's set I felt a bit stiff, but started to loosen up with Panic Priest. By the time Brittany hopped on stage with her album Velella Velella's debut, I was already feeling back in my element. Here's some of the shots I took that night:
Right out of the gate, I decided it's time to learn to color grade better. I had been sick of the lighting of most small/medium venues and I always thought they got in the way of conveying the message in my photos. So this was an overall experiment, and I hope one day I can re-shoot the same artists to see if I've improved. And to give them better photos as a way to thank them for giving me the opportunity to get back into this.
Final thoughts
Look, I am doing this in a very raw way. I have no connections. I don't have an email list and no idea who to message and where. Things here don't work as they did for me 15 years ago in Brazil, where I was my best friend's band's photographer, and made a little name for myself in the hardcore / metal scene by just being there with a camera. Everyone now has a camera in their pockets and lots of bands take photography for granted. Despite all this, I think I bring my own unique perspective to the table, and I really believe in artists supporting artists, so there's got to be some people out there who value it.
I'm hyper aware of my awkwardness, but that's not gonna stop me any longer. I'm gonna breathe, and take it one day at a time. Let the road take me where I belong.
